Confessions of an Innocent Bystander Part IV

Well, it wasn't what I expected. I expected some sort of spa or some pink place with bubbly baths covered with beautiful naked women in it.

But instead, I'm in what looks like a really big basement. Well, not really. It just smells like a basement-mothballs, dusty, but nod bad-smelling or anything. The floor was gray with some stains and scratched on it, like how my basement looks like. It was also cluttered with stuff. The only difference was that it wasn't useless junk you only use in like, ten years from now. I've passed by this place before, but I thought it was a terrorist haven, or something.

"This," Katie says with a breath of pride, her hands out stretched, "Is my studio!"

I sniff. I'm really impressed. "I thought your mom owned a spa." I whispered to Carrie.

"She DOES." She whispered back. "But in her studio, it's FREE."

"Oh. Ok." I say a little louder than I should have. Katie turned, having walked over to these khaki colored blinds. She pinched my arm, HARD, and dragged me to what looked like a shower.

"STRIP."

"WHAT?" I almost screech.

"I'm going to teach you how to take a bath."

'I know how to take a bath!" I whine, close to tears. I mean, being taught how to take a bath in front of your best friend and her mom is so uncool. Even those people that don't care what's cool or not has to agree on THAT.

"By the looks of your hair, and your hamster odor, you definitely do not! Now strip." Katie says with a hint of annoyance.

Hamster odor. I smell like a hamster?? I brought a strand of hair to my face and took a whiff. I drew back, tearful. I DO smell like a hamster!!!

"Just strip." Carrie says boredly, while flipping through Seventeen behind me. "Stop being such a baby."

"Carrie." Katie barks, glaring at her. "Out."

Carrie, at least, had some sympathy. She stood up, magazine in hand, waved goodbye with a slight smile, and left.

Katie sighed, my face as red as a tomato. "Just take your clothes off behind the curtain." I swiftly went behind the curtains, and proceeded to remove my clothing. I slung my shirt and pants over the curtains, which Katie took and lied somewhere near her.

"Now, open the shower. Turn the COLD knob halfway, and turn the HOT knob quarterway."

I obeyed her command, bending down to turn the faucets. Soon, the shower sprayed out a cool fountain. I stood there, getting soaked, expecting her next command.

"Hot water makes you lose your hair. Also, a long shower is bad, too. this bath will only by 15 minutes." I nodded, even though my regular bath consisted of get wet, get out. (3 minutes)

Three minutes later, when my skin suddenly got used to the coldness, Katie ordered, "Now, close the faucet. Get the cream colored bottle to your left. It's shampoo. Put a dab of it on each finger."

It took my a while, since there were a bunch of cream colored bottles. Finally, I had the sense to loom at the bottle, until which I found SWEET CUCUMBER SHAMPOO FOR GREASY IRRITATING HAIR. I dabbed my fingers each with the chilly liquid, before setting it down.

"Okay." i replied.

"Now, I want you to comb you hair with your fingers. Remember to get the front and your bangs, everyone seems to forget that part."

I saved my thumbs for my bangs, since it was the greasiest. "Done." I announced proudly.

"Now, I want you to wash it off." I did what she told me to do, even though I was skeptic. She just told me to put it on, and now she was telling me to put it off?

Three minutes later I was sure all the shampoo was gone from my head, that, which I sniffed, didn't smell as much as hamster anymore.

"Now, to your right is another cream-colored bottle. It's a conditioner." I found it quickly, contrast to the shampoo, since I had actually read the bottles this time. "Do the same thing you did to the shampoo."

Once I had dabbed my fingers and combed through my hair, she told me to wash it off again. Three minutes had passed. I know, because there was a digital clock on the ceiling. It was covered by plexiglas, so you couldn't get it wet. Just thoguht like informing you how I knew how much time had passed.

Six minutes to go. "What's your favorite color, Poppy?" Katie asked me, sitting on what looked like a toilet.

"Forest green." I replied, leaning on the wet shower wall.

Katie stood up and rummaged through a cabinet, and soon her hand was hanging over the shower curtain, holding a forest green net sponge. I took it graciously.

"Wet the sponge. Then, I want you to put some cucumber body wash on it. It's on the right." I grabbed the body wash and squeezed the bottle.

I wasn't stupid, so Katie didn't think I was. She let me cover myself with the soap from the sponge, waiting patiently for three minutes. Without having to tell me, I washed it off.

Fifteen minutes had finally passed. Katie slung a bathrobe and a towel over the curtain. I wrapped the towel around my head neatly, feeling suddenly professional.

"See, that wasn't so hard, wasn't it?" Katie squealed, "I can smell you from five feet away!" Which, I hope, was a compliment.

"You're quite lucky, Popina. Your legs and arms are soft as a baby's bottom. No hair. No shave." Katie mused. She handed me a bottle of cucumber lotion. Already knowing what she was going to say, I started to lathered my body with the nice smelling cream.

"You know, Popina, I know that you're sensitive about your breast size. And I just wanted you to know, but massaging them makes them grow bigger." I nodded, although having no intention to massage my breasts in front of my best friend's mom.

It was then that I realized that it didn't matter anymore. I forgotten my fear of nudity, as I was already naked in front of her, lotioning my inner thighs.

"Also, Popina, you should wash your face every day. Also, I have a very special dermatologist at my spa who can make your pimples gone-and stay that way."

I love this woman.

Five minutes later, Katie tore the towel off my head. "I know it sounds silly, but we're going to cut it now. I know we should have cut your hair before your bath, but you seem dry now and the transition is going to work better. I nodded, not knowing how it was silly.

I sat down at one of the leather chairs, now facing a mirror. "Your hair dries fast." Katie commented. Already, my hair was as dry as it had been twenty minutes ago. However, it was better smelling.

"You have gorgeous cheekbones, Popina. Now that your hair is clean, you can see the good traits of it. See this?" Katie's finger traced a blond streak on my otherwise brown hair. "That's a natural highlight."

I always thought it was a smudge that made my hair look uneven, but Katie's words made me feel better about myself.

"We have to take advantage of your cheekbones and that highlight, Popina. Today, we're going to cut your hair, just like mine. We're going to give you thick, luscious bangs, and a bob cut."

I smiled brightly at her, noticing faintly that behind my big lips, I had nice, white teeth.

"You have small eyes. If we can arch them enough, you can actually look White-Asian. There's nothing a little eye liner can't do."

Katie pulled my hair up, and suddenly blind folded my eyes. "I want my patients surprised at the out come." The blindfold on my face reminded me of my unibrow. Would she help me with that, too?

I heard snips. I felt a strand of hair fall on my shoulder. I gulped. No one's perfect. Would Katie make my haircut look...fab?

"Done!" Katie exclaimed gleefully, whipping the blindfold off my face. I sat there in shock, gaping.

"See, I know about your unibrow. By highlighting the features in your hair, no one will notice."

I can't believe this. I actually look PRETTY. Not gorgeous, like Carrie, or cute, like Ava, but I am no longer a clone of a mutant being.

The next things were all a blur to me. I just couldn't staring at my FACE. I listened to Katie's lectures on how to make my eyes look more arched with the eyeliner, and I was attentive the whole time. My teachers must have been proud.

We went outside. Carrie was waiting, still reading Seventeen. She looked up, gawked at me, and squealed. "You look great!" Before throwing her arms around me and squeezing me tightly.

"Well, we're done for today." Katie said abrubtly, stepping inside her Lamborghini, along with Carrie. "Do you need a ride home?"

I shake my head no. "I've been to this place before." Well, once. And that was only because I was being chased by a hobo down the street for having a donut.

"Ok. Ciao. We'll try legally changing your name after I'm allowed to schedule you an appointment with my dermatologist." Katie yells from behind the car. At that, they drove off.

When they were out of sight, I glance at my reflection. In a way, I sort of looked like a younger, brunette version of Nicole Richie.

You know, minus the pimples, the less visible unibrow, and a lot of other things, but still.

After walking around for a few minutes I decided that I should try getting a new wardrobe along with my new look. Even though, you know, all I really did was get a haircut. But with my thick bangs, most of my pimples were less visible, and with with new shampoo and conditioner, it didn't look as greasy.

I walked myself to the nearest Target, coming out with a pair of skinny jeans, and a baby blue over-the-shoulder top. It was a start. The clothing I wore originally were in my Target bag. Then I waited patiently at the next bus stop.

It was there that I met a very familiar face.

(A/N: Ok, ok, reeeaaaaallllyy boring chapter. But I just wanted to finish this chapter up and get it over with. The next will be better, I promise! ;D)